better life

1st Feb 2009...
Better life...

When im 60....
I want to live happy.
I want to have a bunch of fillial childrens and grandchildrens.
I want to go out as n when i like.
I want to have gatherings with my close ones.

That isnt very difficult isnt it? :(
im feeling 3S when i saw her.
sad. scared. scary.

im scared of these feelings.
a mixture of bad emotions.
Under the cheerful atmosphere, there is actually this tiny bit of sadness surronding me.

I was reading the newspaper, one of taiwan guo bao ji actress died recently at a age of 96.
She was giving out angbaos on chu xi, and seems to know that shes leaving soon, she actually was telling her children about what to do after she left. After that, She peacefully slpt her way to heaven. :) i want that kind too.
好死.
我想我很难. @_@

I seriously need to do something. yes.
and oh.
tomorrow is gillian's birthday. hahaha.
Thats fast. and i think its exactly 4yrs since i know her and xiaotian. :)
I'm Thankful to have such nice friends around me! :)
Happy birthday darling! ^^