flash back 2008

28th Dec 2008
flash back 2008

想你想得好孤寂
我想你想得好痛心
向天大声喊爱你
恨我说出口的不到爱的万分之一
到如今还能说给谁听 Oh! Oh! Oh!
想你想得好孤寂
我想你想得好痛心
向着远方喊爱你
深深爱一个人根本不该苦苦压抑
一点迟疑一生的悲凄

i know i shouldnt feel this way. but something is missing.. from my life.
perhaps regret always leave a scar. recently feelings is pretty messed up.
i dont know what is this feeling supposed to be. it seems like i need something new in my life. geting alivE? i dont know. im not feeling any satisfaction to anything. to work. noone even praise you about your design. when boss see it, '' big and bold TELEPHONE NUMBERS' ya. everyone wants that. lol. to family, ha. dont mention. to friends. im not doing much.

2008 yinghui is not a good girl.
she uses half of her time pondering WHY. well, i admit its a huge huge huge impact. noone really knows how i felt. i just know its very very sad. and sad enough, except for a few, nonone really see the change in me. well, to me, its a big change. chirpy me, but the chirps isnt that sharps anymore.

2008.. yinghui neglected all her besties. whenever things happen, im always not there. and to a certain extend, i think my gfs will get lesser. i know. 我们都长大了. 不能每天腻在一起. but the feeling is just not nice. i was on msn the other day and i came to realised, i havent been toking to her via phone for a long time. back to square one, perhaps technology is a killer to the heart? a venom that is difficult to cure? i havent been contributing much either. i lost the passion to actually call everyone out to do something. perhaps $$$ flow contributes alot? lol.

early 2008, yinghui wanted to be in the media field. mid 08, yinghui got herself a post in media. yet, yinghui sudenly realised this is not wat she wants. sudenly, yinghui's dreams vanish into ...not even a bubble? lost in space. i really dont know what i want. i seems to be floating around trying to search for something. but stil. i dont manage to find it.

2008.. yinghui knows its her start of life. she needs money to obtain what she wants. so she starting working not thinking whether she like it or not. she just need to work and think at the same time.

things seem persimistic for me for the year 2008. but still, i got a gift from heaven. :)

after reading the book ' journey to the underworld', i think it made a impact on me too. i couldnt really figure it out what is it, but somehow, one anthenna in me got messsed up and i couldnt generate my thinking. 'our eyes are all covered with dust'. we couldnt see. so what are we supposed to seE? am i thinking about this qns? how do i make my eyes clean and see something different. difference? somewhere that i could actually see rainbows, vast of green lands, blue and shiny skys? how do i obtain that??once again, i dont know.

perhaps when im free, i should collate all the WHYS into a list and i might really sort out my mind. lol.

End of 2008, i want to thank all the people around me. thank you for all the support that you guys gave. :) and sorry to a few particular people that i would wish to mention.. 1st on list i think would be ms YOU YIN QI. lol. 我真的没忘记你~~~ 只是没联络你~~~~~ ^^

to mark the end of 2008 and my last entry of 2008...
i wish everyone will have a good 2009 and of cos a joyous one. :)

and i promise...
not to you, but to myself.
i will change.

and sistarzz. i never forgot about giving you guys a treat.
since the day i forfeited my promise,i find it very guilty. and ah har. a reason for gathering again. :) i love you all! muacks! ^__^
i seriously hope our friendship will be FOREVER.
yes. i mean 永远. :)

THANK YOU.